When I was a kid and adults would say times goes quickly, I didn’t believe them. But yesterday was our 23rd wedding anniversary. Seriously, where does time go? I don’t want time to keep speeding up. I need it to slow down. The world is fast enough.
But I’m not here to complain about time.
I’m here to tell you about my wife, Wendy.
Wendy, my love…
Early in 1993, I lived in residence at the University of Regina. I headed down into the basement to do some laundry and this young woman was sitting on the counter, reading a book. We said hi, and chatted a bit and I had this feeling. It wasn’t like the movies where you’re overwhelmed with infatuation. It was different.
It was a quiet confident feeling. Subtle. I thought, “I’ll probably marry her.” It sounds cliche, I know. But it was a feeling I had never had before.
I thought she was cute. (She still is!)
We hit it off.
Wendy, my love…
After we chatted, she went back to her dorm and she returned with more laundry. I found out later she actually rewashed clean clothes just to talk to me more. (Ha! I love that. I was even worth the money it costed for a rewash!)
She was studying Opera at the time, I was studying theatre. We had a lot to talk about. She knew a loads about the Arts and I thought that was cool. I must say, when I finally visited her in her dorm room I was very surprised by her music collection.
She only had classical music cd’s. I had never met someone with only classical music.
“How bizarre! How weirdly cool”, I thought.
Ok, she might’ve had one mixed cd of The Cure or something but I was intrigued by her. She had also played violin and viola for years, and I had never met a classical violinist before. She knew tons about the theatre, like no one I had ever met, and was supportive of me being an actor. We both understood the arts.
Our relationship hasn’t been perfect. No relationship is ever perfect. But what I do know is we’ve supported each other no matter what, in our creative endeavours. And Love continues to grow. Deeply.
Wendy, my love…
I remember clearly standing at the end of the aisle, watching her walk toward me. Tears welled up. My knees were shaking. (Not from fear!!) It was an amazing feeling.
One thing that stands out from our vows we took 23 years ago, and still resonates, were the words….
To inspire and to respond.
We strongly believe in supporting each other’s dreams and aspirations, and we always find a way to try and understand each other.
Our relationship has been challenged many times, especially with the loss of our daughter Luka. But we promised over and over as we held hands….. “We will get through this. We won’t let this destroy us.”
And it didn’t.
I can see how it could have.
If you set your mind on something in a relationship, and you both agree, you can do anything. It’s a powerful feeling.
We never gave up on each other. And we never gave up after our loss.
We now have our wonderful son, who brings us laughter and joy every day. We sometimes wondered if it would ever be possible. Thankfully it was.
Five or six years ago, Wendy took the plunge into photography. I’ve watched her grow immensely as an artist and I’m thrilled when I see her with her camera. She truly has a gift.
She’s also a phenomenal teacher. Her students love her, but I know she would deny this because she’s humble.
But she needs to know.
Wendy, my love…
How could I have been so lucky?
And to those who want to meet someone….
Don’t ever be afraid of doing laundry!
Because you never know who you could end up meeting in the laundry room.
With Gratitude,