Amazon Packaging Heaven in Your Belly
Thoughts of Michael
I just looked up the phrase ‘bread of life’. It means…
I would guess it’s because there’s nothing quite like great bread.
Making sourdough is amazing. Delicious. But today I thought I’d try my hand at something new. You know, expand my horizons sort of thing.
I’ve always wanted to make bread taste exactly like it does at the supermarket.
Quite sure I’ve figured it out. Okee. Here we go.
Here are my instructions… follow closely.
Find a BIG bowl. (check out your reflection, it’s fun)
Get out the oil, salt, yeast and sugar. This is the fancy sea salt. Mediterranean! (not necessary)
Now pour some of each in a bowl. It doesn’t really matter how much exactly. It should be ok.
Add extra sugar for taste.
Now add cardboard.
The cardboard from a recent Amazon purchase is perfect. Just bear in mind this is the healthier version. It’s because it’s brown. If you want the white bread you need white cardboard. It’s a bit harder to find.
Cut top off. The top layer flap is the best part. Tastiest.
Add to mix. Don’t put the plastic in. That would make it taste like plastic.
Let it soak in. Oops, I almost forgot the yeast. Make sure to add plenty of yeast for a good rise. Notice the Amazon smile?
Mix thoroughly. Mash, then stir. It’ll take a little while for the ingredients to absorb. When ready, simply take a ladle and pour it into bread pan, try to get it in evenly.
Now put in oven at 450 degrees Farenheit. (I know, it should be Celcius, I’m Canadian! Sorry!!)
Wait until it gets nice and fluffy and moist.
Look at that! Dee-lish! Take it out while still hot and enjoy with your favourite local butter. Slather on liberally.
It didn’t rise as well as I had hoped, but…. it tastes EXACTLY like the bread from our local supermarket.
I feel spiritually nourished…
Life is too short to eat bad bread1.
PS. If you try this recipe, please make sure you have a fire extinguisher close by. The cardboard might ignite. Just to be on the safe side, please share to warn others.
Please support your local bakery! They use the real ingredients.